A gift for the big brother or big sister, not for the baby

Who the book is for

The child in the story is the older one. They're the hero, the baby is a thing that happens in their house, and the ending belongs to them. That's the whole idea, and it's why this works as a present rather than as a keepsake for the parents.

We write for ages 3 to 8, which is roughly the range where a child is old enough to notice what's changing and too young to be told about it in plain terms. If the older sibling is under three, the book will be read to them rather than followed, and it may be worth waiting.

Four moments to hand it over

There isn't a correct one. They trade off differently, and hospital visits in particular depend on rules you don't control.

1. Before the baby arrives

   The story lands while they're still the only child, which is when the idea is easiest to take in. It also gives them weeks to ask questions about it. The downside is that everything you can say about the baby is hypothetical.

2. At the hospital or on the first visit

   This is the moment the older one meets a baby that everyone else is already holding. Having something in their hands that is theirs, that adults are asking them about, changes what that visit feels like.

3. The week you all come home

   The visitors thin out and the house resets around the baby's schedule. A book that gets read at bedtime is a fixed point in a week where nothing else looks like it used to.

4. A month or two in

   The presents have stopped arriving for everyone, including the baby, and the older child has run out of new attention. A book that turns up then isn't competing with anything.

Due dates move, so give yourself room. The clock is 7 business days from the day we have your photos, and ordering during the last week of a pregnancy is the version of this that goes wrong.

What belongs in the story

You type these into the payment page. The useful ones are specific to this child and this house.

• What they're good at. Climbing, remembering everyone's birthday, getting the dog to come. A story where the older child is competent reads very differently from one where they're told to be patient.
• What they've already noticed. The moved furniture, the bag by the door, the room that changed. Kids track this and mostly don't ask about it.
• The baby's name, if you have it. If you don't, we write around it. Say so, and we won't guess.
• Anything that should stay out. A hard pregnancy, a hospital stay, a first name that's still being argued about. Tell us and it won't appear.

What we won't write

We don't write a story that instructs a child to be pleased about this. The version that works is one where the older child is the person the story is about, and the baby is part of their year rather than the point of it.

What a book can't do

It won't stop the regression, the night waking, or the three weeks of testing every rule in the house. Those aren't things a present fixes, and anyone selling you a book as a fix for them is overselling.

What it does is smaller and more reliable. It's an object in the house that belongs to the older child alone, at a time when almost nothing else does, and it gives the adults around them something to read together that isn't about the baby.

How ordering works

Three steps, and only the first one happens on this site.

• You pay $9.99 and tell us the child's name, age and whatever you want in the story on the payment page.
• You email two or three photos of them to info@kater.jp from the address you paid with. There's no upload form here.
• The finished book comes back to that address as a print-ready PDF within 7 business days. If we miss that, you get a full refund without asking.

One thing worth knowing before you count backwards from a date: we're in Japan, so business days here are Japanese weekdays. Weekends and Japanese public holidays don't count, and they don't fall on the same days as yours. How the 7 days are counted is written out on the refund page. If your date is tight, email us before you pay and we'll tell you whether it fits.

Related pages

Worth reading first

• What changes between 3 and 8, and what to give at each step — Age by age from 3 to 8: what shifts, and where a picture book fits
• Three different things get sold as a "personalized" book — Name-swap, template and written-for-one-kid compared, and how to tell which you're buying

Other occasions

• Birthday — What to tell us so the story sounds like this year's version of them
• Christmas — How the timing works with no carrier involved, and what to do when it's already late
• From grandparents — The three questions to ask the parents, and how to read it together from far away
• All guides — what to look for before you buy any personalized book